|
3. History with Disability
How we understand our disabilities also depends a lot on where and how they fit within our lives. It makes a great difference how long each of us has had our disabilities, for months, years, or decades, and how we got them, whether from birth, accident, or illness. While the when, how, and how long of our disabilities doesn’t determine everything about how we respond to them, but they are strong indicators of where each of us might be in our thinking and understanding. A 16 year old with lifelong Muscular Dystrophy, and a 70 year old who is just now finding it more difficult to walk may have similar physical impairments, but their understanding and feelings about them are likely to be quite different. Similarly, a person who has been using a wheelchair for 20 years is probably going to have a different outlook on disability and disability issues than someone who has only been using a wheelchair for six months, no matter how old they are. Trauma is a factor, too. Disability that comes suddenly or violently has different emotional impacts than disabilities one is born with, almost regardless of the nature of the disabilities themselves.
People who became disabled only a short time ago, due to illness or accident, are more likely to view their disabilities as an unfriendly invader, as a purely medical problem, and not necessarily something of political or social significance, or a vibrant, enriching community they have just joined. People who have had a disability for many years or decades, and those who grew up with disabilities, tend to be more at peace with their own disabilities. For one thing, they either have no memory of not being disabled, or it was so long ago as to be a distant, formless memory. Also more time with disabilities teaches profound lessons about what the real problems of disability are, what ableism really is, and the difference between how society expects disabled people to behave and what actually works. Length of time with disabilities doesn’t always impart wisdom, but it usually at least accumulates useful experience, and grants perspective.
Another important variable in our personal histories is the kind of atmosphere we have lived in and how people around us have responded to us and our disabilities. Some disabled people are fortunate to be embedded in supportive, affirming communities of family, friends, coworkers, and quality support professionals. This provides a solid base on which to build successful, happy lives, and strong emotional grounding to tackle the inevitable problems of disability life and the injustices of everyday ableism.
But a great many disabled people don’t have these support systems. Not all families are supportive, and some can be downright cruel. Not all friends understand us. Coworkers can be gossipy and back-stabbing. Bosses can be dismissive and vindictive. Doctors, therapists, and teachers, even those who are well-meaning, sometimes have wrong and corrosive ideas about what is best for us. This is another factor that can explain why some people with comparable disabilities consistently seem to “rise above” adversity, while others appear to flounder or “wallow” in negativity. Most of us come by our attitudes honestly.
These three factors all mix together with countless other variables to help shape how each disabled person interprets and adapts to their disabilities, and how we see and respond to the ableism we all face. It is an important reminder for non-disabled people not to over-simplify their understanding of disabled people. Successful life with disabilities requires a mix of approaches that all should be understood and accepted. Disabled people can also help strengthen the disability community by appreciating our differences rather than jumping to judge each other. While disabled people share many experiences and challenges in common, our experiences are also so different that it’s impossible and foolish for any of us — non-disabled or disabled — to hold to any particular idea of how to do disability “right,” or who is “doing disability wrong.”
Do'stlaringiz bilan baham: |
