My Grammar and I (Or Should That Be 'Me'?): Old-School Ways to Sharpen Your English

parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that
he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word
tell.’
W
ILLIAM
S
TRUNK
J
R
, The Elements of Style
Imagine what Mr Strunk would have had to say about either of these examples:
‘As the firemen climbed up the steps of the ladder to reach the people trapped in
the  building  that  was  on  fire  (people  with  no  escape!),  the  piercing  sound  of  a
shrill  cry  could  be  audibly  heard  from  up  high  on  the  rooftop.  Above  the  loud
roar  of  the  burning  flames,  we  heard  a  woman  screaming  out  at  the  top  of  her
voice  to  the  rescuing  fireman.  We  sighed  a  sigh  of  relief  when  they  finally
reached her and she was brought down.’
‘This  quarter,  we  are  presently  focusing  with  determination  on  an  all-new,
innovative  integrated  methodology  and  framework  for  rapid  expansion  of
customer-oriented  external  programs  designed  and  developed  to  bring  the
company’s  consumer-first  paradigm  shift  into  the  marketplace  as  quickly  as
possible.’
The piercing sound of a shrill cry , for heaven’s sake! Give us a break.