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28. Games?
– Oh, it’s so exciting! Halloween is coming. I need a costume.
Have you decided on a costume yet?
– Yes, I have. I won’t have one.
– What do you mean? What about the Halloween party?
– I’m not going anywhere. No way.
– Why? It’s such fun. I’ll dress up like an evil witch, I think.
– I thought you were a Christian.
– But, of course, I’m a Christian.
– I don’t think that being a Christian and being a witch add up.
– Don’t be so serious! It’s just a game. Just fun.
– Aha. It’s a game all right. But only it’s a satanic one, pure and simple.
– Oh, I can dress up like a good witch or a fairy, if you want me to.
– Well, I don’t. Good or bad, it doesn’t really change anything.
I’m pretty fed up with all this satanism under the guise of “fun” and “tradition”.
I’m not playing this game any more.
– What are you gonna do then?
– I don’t know. Whatever. Study French or something…
– We can study together…
– You mean that? Really?
– Yes, I do…
29. Protect And Serve
– Lookie who’s coming my way! Mister Law and Order in person! Hey! Is it true what they say?
That you’ve become a cop? Or, it’s just nasty rumors about you?
– Hi there. No, it’s true. I’m on the force now. Fresh out of school.
– So, you went to a police school and all?
– Yes, I did. Graduated with flying colors, and now it’s “protect and serve”…
– What do you actually do? Kick any doors in yet?
– Oh, I’m a traffic cop with the State Patrol.
– Traffic cop!? Man, I’ve always been scared of traffic cops!
– Well, who isn’t? Speaking of which, a funny thing happened to me yesterday.
I’m on the beat, cruising in my police car and liking my new uniform, and all of a sudden,
I notice a police car right behind me! And, I get really terrified! He’s gonna get me!
What have I done!? I get real sweaty and all… And then I think to myself
“Wait a minute! I’m a cop myself now! I don’t have to be afraid of no stinking cops any more!”
– Oh man! That’s really funny! Hey, you should sell that story to some stand-up comedian
or something. OK. And it’s really good to see you, man. Let’s go and have a drink or two.
I’m buying.
– Yeah, sure…
30. The Magic Word
– My car died on me. Just ‘round the corner.
– Obviously, you need a new one. Yours is a piece of junk.
– It’s not a piece of junk. It’s a vintage classic. It’s a Chevy sixty eight with all the original parts.
– All?
– Well, almost all. Sure she needs some fixing, but all in all, she’s in fine shape.
– Fine shape, right. Then my wheelchair-bound grandma is in fine shape, too.
What are you going to do, if the next time it dies on you on a freeway in the fast lane?
– Well, I don’t take fast lanes. She’s not that fast…
– Is that supposed to be funny? I’m not laughing, you know. It’s pretty serious.
You can kill yourself.
– I’m not gonna kill myself. I’ll change the battery, the plugs, and the fuel filter
and she’s gonna be just like new.
– Fine, suit yourself.
– OK…
– “OK” what?
– Can I borrow your car for a couple of days?
– And?
– “And” what?
– The magic word.
– Please…
31. Roach
– Attention, class! Look at this little guy here. It’s the common cockroach. Beautiful, isn’t it?
Most probably, it originated in the Silurian Period
about three hundred and fifty million years ago. I mean, not our little buddy here, of course,
but his great-great-great-many times more great-granddaddy.
Cockroaches can be found everywhere in the world, from the tropical rain forest to the arctic,
and even, I believe, in the heads of certain people in this classroom.
Johnny, take that finger out of your nose! There exists no less than four thousand roach species.
In a year, a single female can spawn over half a million little johnnies, well, descendants.
Good job, girl! Radiation doesn’t really bother them. Probably, they even enjoy it!
From the survivalist point of view, they’re practically flawless creatures.
They’ve got only a very simple nervous system, Johnny,
and their life’s ruled just by basic environmental stimuli and nothing else.
Unlike us, Johnny, they’re incapable of thinking, of writing a book or composing music…
Compared to this fellow, we’re, well, gods and must therefore act appropriately…
Take that finger out of your nose, Johnny!
– Okay, teach… Teach-the-roach, teach-the-leech – eat the soap, lick the bleach…
– What did you say? Lick what?
– Nothing, teacher. My pen leaks…
– OK. But you’d better watch your tongue, brother.
– Sorry, teach... my brother – from another father, my sister – from another mister…
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